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I Have Finally Accepted that Different Is Good BY Gillian Contillo
I am very blessed for the life I have and I feel that, without the family situation I have right now, I would be a completely different person. I didn’t understand as a child why my family had to be different but everything worked out for the best in the end. “It’s what was meant to be”. This life lesson will carry on into my future, reminding me to become the best version of myself without the fear of judgment by others as I travel along my own open journey through life.
I Have Finally Accepted that Different Is Good
BY Gillian Contillo
My eight year old self trembled as I clenched the sides of my seat while questions were barked in my ear by my classmates. “How do you have two moms? Is one of them your step mom? Where’s your dad?” I never knew how to respond to these questions. I didn’t like that my family was different from everyone else’s. It was difficult to describe how I had two mothers in a lesbian relationship. I felt uncomfortable and ashamed of my family, especially when pressed to explain the situation to my peers in fear of being judged. I observed on field trips and parent/teacher conferences how all of my friends had a mom and dad who were still happily married and a brother or sister. This type of family can be considered the “typical” American family. I hid my emotions as I struggled to respond to their questions, often improvising a story and quickly changing the subject.
As I grew older, my family situation became more confusing as my moms separated and new partners came into the picture. Currently, my family situation reads like something out of a movie. However, now I love talking about my family and am very proud. My mom always told me “Everyone is on our own path and reaching our own destination. Each high and low you have in your life is just a lesson you’re learning along this path. Whatever happens is what was meant to be.” Even though this statement is lengthy and changes slightly each time she reminds me, it has settled in my mind and helped shape me into the strong, outgoing, independent person I am today. Growing up with a “different” family situation taught me to be brave and embrace my unique identity. For example, the confidence I gained from my home life gave me the courage to try out for my school’s dance and cheerleading teams where I met many of my good friends. Although it took me several years to be comfortable with my family situation, I realized that good or bad events in my life are lessons I’m learning along my path.
In addition to becoming an outgoing, independent person, my family situation helps me remain very open and accepting of unique people. For some people, my family situation is something relatable, especially if they are struggling with individual differences. People know that they can speak to me about anything, that I’ll listen and give them support. There isn’t really a topic that makes me uncomfortable to talk about with other people. I defer from judging others too quickly since I can easily recall the fear I felt of being judged from my early childhood. As humans, we are all special in our own ways and we shouldn’t negatively judge others for being themselves.
I am very blessed for the life I have and I feel that, without the family situation I have right now, I would be a completely different person. I didn’t understand as a child why my family had to be different but everything worked out for the best in the end. “It’s what was meant to be”. This life lesson will carry on into my future, reminding me to become the best version of myself without the fear of judgment by others as I travel along my own open journey through life.